The Family Dinner Table’s Influence on Leaders

Who would have thought the family dinner table shapes leaders’ abilities to influence? A microcosm of family life repeated over days, weeks, months and years as we grow up has significant influence on how we are in groups. Whether we converse easily, disagree without offending others, remain silent or dominate, one likely influence is earlier experiences and habits of family dinner time. Last week, I was working with a group of leaders discussing turning points in their careers. One leader...

The Interpersonal Language of Leadership Engagement

This week, I had a digital meeting with Jim. He was heading into a performance discussion with a team member. Jim had done a lot of background work, sought feedback and reflected on his experience with this manager and his team. He had written his comments relating to various objectives and he wanted my perspective on the clarity of his message. He read, “You need to lead your team more, you need to keep them better informed, and you need...

Quality Interactions Save the Day

Do you have days when nothing seems to work out? I had one of these days on a recent trip to Picton. I needed an internet source for a three hour zoom meeting. I felt like Goldilocks- I tried a café that set me up with internet vouchers and a chord to keep my laptop charged, but it was too noisy. I couldn’t hear. I drove to the visitor’s centre, but it was closed. A staffer came to see what...

5 Keys for Leaders to Accelerate Staff Engagement

BM is a senior leader I am working with. BM is talented, experienced, wise, and thoughtful. She is also shy, and reserved. So far, she has refused to share these insights with her colleagues. She thinks these insights lack value. With her permission, I am sharing these with you, so BM might gain a sense that her experience and wisdom is valuable to others. One of her organisation’s strategic goals is to dramatically improve staff engagement. BM quietly told me...

Know Where You Stand – Emotional Pain and Leadership

Discovering you were closer to someone in your team than they were with you can hurt deeply. This hurts even more when you realise that others knew this before you did. When information within informal networks of interpersonal relationships overrides formal structures, trust is broken. Emotions run high as the true structure of relationships are revealed. You know where you stand, and how close or distant others are in relation to you. Remember Carlos Ghosen, Chair of Nissan, Japan and...

Quit the Blame Game – Glitches and Roadblocks are Normal

Hindsight, and reflection: Insights into Learning Hindsight; I find unhelpful. Reflection, I rate. What is the difference? Hindsight leaves me feeling inadequate, and with a sense of failure, that my effort was not good enough. Hindsight encourages fault finding, blame and criticism. Each is entirely unhelpful in any learning process. Reflection enables me to identify causes, helps me reset a vision of what is possible, identify what I want to learn, and apply. Why is reflection valuable? Setting out to...

The Language of Leadership – I, We, You

Three little words you, we, and I. What’s in a word? Remember research from Dr Albert Mehrabian from UCLA in the 1960’s? Mehrablan identified that the power and effect of any communication came from: Words 7% Body language 55% Emotional tone 38% Accurate or not, Mehrablan’s research provides food for thought. One implication is while words are 7% of any communication, each of those words is likely to be important. the emotional tone you communicate...

Great Leaders Imagine What Is Possible

Leaders who focus on creating better futures for others face just as many roadblocks as the rest of us. What helps leaders navigate these roadblocks, rather than give up and be defeated? The answers lies in creating effective goals. Effective goals are outcome statements describing the future state as if it were current. In my workshops, I am constantly inspired by the goals participants set. Each participant has a vision for themselves and their organisation beyond what they are doing...

Taking People With You

Come From Away was one of the Broadway shows David and I chose on our recent visit to New York. An unlikely and poignant musical based on the 39 planes which were diverted to a small Newfoundland town for a week during the 9/11 disaster. The story centred on the interactions with a town of 7000 people accepting an equal number of bewildered stranded travellers desperate to be with their work colleagues or families. The awkwardness, delights, and setbacks which...

When Meetings Go Awry

How often does this happen in your meetings? The conversation goes into irrelevant details Someone is holding forth and it is unclear what is important Someone is holding forth and they are definitely off-topic What is happening? Essentially, there is a leadership gap. What does this mean? The leader has lost their way, or group members are anxious of the consequences of redirecting the meeting, or the meeting chair senses whoever is talking is more ‘senior’ than they are...