Are you busy? Do you have too many competing priorities?
Your self-esteem and self-confidence suffer when your work cuts into your family and personal time. What is the cause of this?
I notice in the leaders who come to me wanting greater self-confidence and to increase their influence share 3 – 4 of the following characteristics:
- A propensity to help;
- Difficulty in saying no;
- Wanting to please people;
- Take on too much;
- Are perfectionistic;
- Like to ‘do stuff’ rather than lead, or delegate;
- Don’t ask clearly for what they want; and
- Consult rather than give direction.
Do you recognise any of these in yourself? Leaders with these tendencies are frequently time-poor. They realize it is not possible to influence by being ‘nice’. Being nice doesn’t work.
Leaders’ self-esteem suffers as they are not doing what they know is important. They are busy doing what they think is important for others.
Leaders with influence:
- Know how to help people;
- Are comfortable in saying ‘no’ or ‘that’s not possible’;
- share their vision, give direction and ask for what they want;
- Are personable and have clear priorities;
- Back themselves and others; and
- Share what they think and feel about important matters without being dogmatic.
The list above is long. Rather than tackle each of these, try one or two, e.g. learn to say no, and ask for what you want and maintain good relationships. Confidence is not about being right; confidence is knowing you can make things right. Enjoy your sense of achievement. Experience your self-confidence grow.
Diana Jones ©