What makes you an “attractive” leader?

Leaders have many aspects in how they enact their role.  One that particularly interests me is the qualities that make a leader someone who is “in tune” with the people around them and what is going on in their organisation; someone who hears what’s really going on; can foresee potential problems in the organisation; and is chosen by their peers and staff as wise counsel.

Sociometry has a useful way of looking at the quality of relationships called “tele”.  Tele is what I think of as the magnetic force between people. It’s the force present in all relationships, with us being drawn to some people, moving away from others, or simply having a neutral response.   It’s what makes us “hit it off” with someone without even knowing them, or creates those personality clashes that just seem to happen for no real reason.

Interpersonal chemistry
Tele is this interpersonal chemistry, and there is extensive literature on the telic qualities that affect relationships between two people, or between a leader and a group.  I’ve given an overview about how tele works and can be harnessed on my website

Having positive tele that attracts others to you is a powerful force for effective leadership.  Two telic qualities that come to the fore in work settings are socio-tele and psycho-tele. Socio-telic qualities are related to the role we have – whether that’s as a parent, manager, doctor, chef, poet, leader or engineer – and involve knowledge, skills and intelligence. The role doesn’t say anything about the personality or presence of a person, but the role itself still has a powerful effect on how a person is seen and why people approach them.

For example, when someone is head of the Finance section, people will go to them expecting, and most likely receiving, expert knowledge and advice on finance matters.  But what explains the head of Finance who always seems to attract peers and staff to talk over everything from IT projects to the organisation’s PR? Who seems to know what’s going on in every business unit, and who gets chosen to lead projects beyond the scope of Finance?

x-factors
These people have what’s called positive psycho-telic qualities.
If you sat near them, you would notice they have a great capacity to listen and that their visitors are talking about more than the financial part of their project or work group.  They may be talking about what they would like to achieve with their work group, what they are noticing is happening in the organisation, their view on who they think is likely to get that new Marketing role, or something else that is going on.  Both the visitor and the leader part with a positive regard to the experience of being together, and both are likely to benefit in unexpected ways from the interaction. The relationship is mutual.

If you are often chosen as a listener or as a source of “wise counsel”, both socio- and psycho-telic qualities are likely to be at play.  If you feel under-chosen in areas beyond your specific role, it could be useful to get to know, or re-assess your psycho-telic qualities and consider what may be helpful to bring to the fore.

I notice that the effective leaders I work with have 2 – 3 attractive psycho-telic qualities in addition to the socio-telic element of their role.

Attractive psycho-telic qualities include being :
Approachable
Empathetic, interested in and/or involves people
Trusted
Results oriented
Calm under pressure
Visionary
Curious

If you would like to know more about tele and telic qualities, see my website or just get in touch with me. Diana

©Diana Jones The Organisation Development Company 2013.